And here we are, getting to a part where I start to add a lot more flourish to the story.

This whole next section was planned pretty much from the point when I realized "shit, I really am doing an adaptation of Final Fantasy 1". I just thought, "well, what if the story the guy is telling is just that, a story? If he thought it was his life -- and maybe some of the details were -- then anyone could tell a version. The bard would know a version of it, and, well..."

Just read ahead to see.
 
    

When evil spreads across the land, and darkness rises and the monsters roam. When the creatures of the night make beautiful music, and the things that go bump in the night go bump with greater enthusiasm. When the world is in peril and is in need of a hero...

These guys are, sadly, the best the world can hope for. These are the adventures of the heroes of CVRPG. They mean well, they try hard, and occasionally they do the impossible...

They actually do something heroic.